Yes Feedback isn’t equal to Failure!
But your body doesn’t know that.
Let me explain….
You just walked out of your performance review. On the surface, it was normal.
Your manager said the usual:
“You’re doing well. I’d love to see a bit more proactive leadership from you.”
But that’s not what your body heard. Your nervous system translated it into:
“You’re not doing enough.” “You don’t speak up. “You’re falling behind.”
Now you’re spiraling.
“Was it something I said? Something I didn’t say? That one meeting I stayed quiet in? Am I… underperforming?”
Breathe.
Let’s pause. Do Not spiral
Because here’s the thing:
Feedback is not a final verdict. It’s a mirror. Sometimes it’s clean. Sometimes foggy. But it’s never about your worth. And if you’re into NLP, you’ll love this one:
“The meaning of your communication is the response you get.”
Yet, here’s where people mess up:
They turn feedback into identity.
When really it’s just data.
Here’s a 3-step process for you to reinterpret feedback in a more healthy manner
1. Ask:
Is this about who I am? Or how I landed?
(Hint: It’s almost always the second.)
2. Translate:
“You don’t speak up” → “They’re not getting a strong leadership signal from me yet.”
3. Respond with curiosity, not defense:
“Got it. What would leadership look like to you in future meetings?” When you do this
– Feedback becomes a measurable dashboard, not a dagger.
– Criticism provides scope for collaboration.
– And you? You stop reacting and start leading.
And that’s power.
Found this useful? Pass it on. Someone you know might need to hear this today.
Follow Syed Faqruddin Ali Ahmed for more simple mindset shifts and leadership tools that actually work.
What’s one piece of feedback you’ve been rethinking lately?
